Flower power

01Sep10

One of the defining components of a wedding is the beautiful flower arrangements, which is why the day before B’s wedding I was standing in the rain in a garden in Sheffield cutting the flowers off a large hydrangea bush.

For some time the types and colours and arrangements of flowers were in a state of flux. B was adamant about a few things floral such as her bouquet, but undecided about what should decorate the tipis and the church. These problems were only compounded by visits to the florists, discussions about what was in season, what might be the right colours and what would be in keeping with her “Alice in a country cottage wonderland” theme.

At one point in the preceedings B was extolling the merits of topiary – “But it’s only £1,000 to hire them for the weekend”.

Cost and pragmatism became a defining feature of the floral arrangements – mainly the “It costs how much!” exclamations from MOB, which were commonly followed by “It would be cheaper to grow it myself.”

Thus the rules for the floral arrangements were drawn up.

B would engage a florist to prepare her bouquet, corsages and buttonholes for the wedding party and the flowers to go in the large stone (concrete) urn which MOB had encouraged us to buy in Costco and then had to travel the 85 miles home with it in the front footwell while she folded her legs like origami because we were in the sports car.

The flower of choice was to be the Hydrangea.

MOB and I would obtain and supply topiary and flowers for the reception, both ones to go outside the tipi and arrangements for the tables.

So last year as the unloved garden centre plants appeared in the autumn sales at less than half price, especially if they looked appropriately large or topiary-like and could be found in pairs we purchased them, plonked them in a quiet corner of the garden and let them spend the winter and spring thinking about flourishing.

MOB scoured the seed catalogues and on-line gardening sites so that in spring boxes of tiny flowers started to arrive. Armed only with a bag of compost, dibber and assortment of large flowerpots MOB created a number of planters which stretch in a double row from our front door to the garden gate.

When the time came these and the topiary were all duly lifted into the horsebox and conveyed to the farm to be arranged in pairs alongside the path to the tipi, or strategically placed around the perimeter of the field.

This only left the interior displays and table arrangements for the tipi. I was becoming adept at spotting hydrangeas, and noticing those which were more out of the way, where a few flowers might be discretely snipped off. MOB however had other plans.

So the day before the wedding we headed to Sheffield for MOBs hair appointment. Leaving home early ensured that we arrived at Morrisons just after the doors opened. MOB had already determined that it was here that the best flowers could be found at an affordable price. We filled a shopping trolley with flowers and received some stares as we wheeled it through the store. What surprised me more was that the lady at the checkout acted as if every Friday morning a couple buy a trolley full of flowers.

This was not enough, and MOB had already secured additional blooms from friends, relatives and neighbours of relatives which is why I spent most of Saturday with wet arms. Later in the day a visit to a friends allotment secured a bucketful of Marigolds and Alliums (should that be Allia?) – in reality these were leeks which had started to flower. On returning home I also noticed that one of my artichokes had blown over, and as this was in flower I just cut off the leaves and surreptitiously added it to the flower assortment.

On the morning of the wedding MOB skillfully arranged the flowers into receptacles large and small (some of which incidentally never made it to the tipi) these displays were conveyed to the farm and set out on the tables.

I wonder if B realises that the structural elements of the floral arrangements were actually vegetables?

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